Getting Ready for Marriage by Jim Burns and Doug Fields.
Here’s where you can check it out:
- Google Play-$9.99
- Thrift Books-$12.89
Now here’s why you should read this workbook.
The first chapter possess a critical question. One that trumps you and your partner’s want to be married: “are you willing to work at premarital education? If, according to Burns, Fields (and many others) the engagement period is meant to prepare you for marriage, take the advice and learn as much as you can. Share as much as you can. The authors suggest that “[both] of you investing the time to deal with essential issues that will either enhance or derail your marriage.” They advise to meet with a counselor, advisor or your officiant/celebrant “at least 6 times before the big day.” This may seem like a lot, but when you consider that the goal is to remain committed to your partner for the rest of your days, 6 meetings is a blip on the radar. You may feel that you require fewer meetings because you do regular relationship maintenance on your own. However, a simple 3 meetings with an officiant or priest can bring up great questions and ideas that you hadn’t considered.
RED FLAGS. See page 32. This is no joke. This area of discussion is for those who refuse to discuss the things we tend to keep in the dark. I’d rather not list the Red Flags here because it is a list Mr. Burns and Mr. Fields developed based on their research and practice. Readers may want to omit or add Red Flags to the list, but it isn’t necessary. The difficult elements we already have to confront are enough to deal with and work through.
Throughout the text, the married authors reference the Bible and major tenets of Christianity as they pertain to wedded responsibilities. Whether or not, as a couple, your practice Chr
istianity or read the Bible for guidance, the various quotes and references help to illuminate the nature of marriage: W-O-R-K. Men and women may claim to carry certain burdens, but that is solely up to the couple. The couple is called to particular tasks or duties. It should be considered wise to focus on a partner’s strengths rather than a responsibility that builds a continuous wall to their confidence and openness towards bravery.
The workbook closes with “Home Plate: Authentic Oneness” and “The ‘We’ Factor.” Burns and Fields ask “when you are in a fight, who is the enemy?” They advise that for a healthy marriage the enemy needs to be the problem creating the dis-ease. What is a marriage or partnership but the ultimate experience in ministering to those who need love and someone we do love.
This book is highlighted with examples from couples counseling/pre-marital therapy sessions and lists. The lists are awesome, even if you don’t agree with everything they say. Lists offer a way to check off what you’ve done, not done, liked, not liked…what you will and won’t accept. I’d like to thank that authors for their frankness about what they learned throughout the journey of marriage.