If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN!

One point that the author Ms. Whoopie makes is the expectations we place on relationships, in particular when you call something a marriage. It presupposes you’re going to be with someone for life and therefore creates fears and actions and reactions that could be avoided. She clarifies that these are her ideas and reflections on […]

Cancer, Kids, and Curriculum

When a young person dies it is difficult to process their loss. You believe they should outlast you, way beyond your experience with them, plus 5 years (give or take). Unfortunately, adolescents leave this plane and the adults around them need to support other young people in their grief. We are putting together a crisis […]

Vows: Talking Points for a Possible Future

Vows make me laugh. In contemporary ceremonies, it becomes abundantly clear when the words and intentions are contrived. Don’t say what everyone else has said. Don’t sing a song you don’t have in your heart. Whether during a wedding or a personal, intimate moment, vows and promises should be made with earnestness and hope. Your […]

Nelsan Ellis: Eulogy for a True Blood

Nelsan Ellis (1977-2017) is best knows for his iconic work on the hit HBO show True Blood. He plays the short order cook with a penchant for telling you about yourself. Truly a great encapsulation of a queer person of color in a small Southern town. Lafayette was a character created to die in the […]

Vanity: A Celebration of Separation 

I wonder what Aryn Drake-Lee was thinking 13 years ago when she married Jesse Williams. I wonder what he was thinking, too, but it’s irrelevant. He’s leaving. She’s not putting up with anymore BS. It’s about time. Let’s celebrate.  Jesse caught people’s attention as a new, pretty face on Grey’s Anatomy (ABC). He joined the cast […]

The Difficulties of Normativity

Relationships are challenging. Obvious observation. Much of what I read, as I research opinion and position online, indicates that more women, especially women of color, are vocally refusing to participate in cis heterosexually normative relationships altogether. I don’t blame them one bit. When a couple decides to “work on it” they are considering recommitting themselves […]

The Fear of Forever

This is a day of many things. It is the Inauguration of a new president and the eve of a wedding. The ramifications feel as if they’ll last for the rest of our lives. Like the vows some people make and, for some, eventually break.  That’s why forever should be taken out of the equation. […]

Writing Can Be Hard

Most people write their own vows or use traditional templates to express their devotion. But sometimes it can be hard to put in to words the feelings and experiences you’ve shared with this person, especially during a public ceremony. There’s no shame in asking for help. Speeches, vows, and poetry or spiritual verses are used […]

It’s About Time

Get some counseling. Not from a friend you spill tea with, unless they’re certified and you’re willing to tell the truth. Find a soothsayer counselor that aligns with your values and identity needs. Perhaps because you are considering marriage or have run into a troubling time. Each participant will enter the session with their own […]

SKYLARITY

Mindfulness, Spontaneity and Authenticity

Tom & Tom : Black Like You

Black is the new black. (Don't question it.)